Resistance or rebirth moment?

There’s a space at the bottom of the exhale that is precious. It’s where all life begins. I like to call it the void. A vast spacious eternity of infinite darkness.

This is the place where all life begins. Creative potential is born from this emptiness and there are countless galaxies and dimensions available to us from this place.

In more indigenous cultures, this infinite pause in the breath could also correspond to the ancient medicine wheel teachings of the direction of the northeast- where the north direction completes  a life cycle of “death” only to give way to the cycle of the east which begins a new cycle of birth (think of the rising of the sun in the eastern sky).

In many cultural teachings there are references to the death/rebirth cycle- with some cultures even representing this process with images of spirals or serpents- including the famous Ouroboros- with the snake eating its tale.

These visual images are potent reminders of our continual internal and external life cycles and how everything is connected- like the ocean waves continually moving through the ebb and flow process.

In fact, honoring these cycles and spirals is how the name  “Spiraldance” in Spiraldance Breathwork was born- with my own recognition that this is a continual process of moving through spirals of our own life again and again and again.

Lately- I’ve been sitting a lot in this place of stillness- the place of the pause- the space before the breath. It’s been wonderful and curious and also a bit unsettling. I am so used to the external busy activity of that eastern door on the medicine wheel- growing, sprouting, moving towards vibrant activity.

Further- to sit within this quiet place of inertia during a time of the seasonal birth of the glorious New England spring blossoms happening all around me feels somehow misaligned.  As I track the felt sense of the experience within me- it almost feels as if I’m in a grieving process.

So- lately, I’ve been asking myself- is what I am experiencing here feel like I’m moving towards something or moving away from something- or both? Is this time a rebirth or resistance to a birth?

The truth is, the space before the breath for all of us is its own kind of birth- renewing and regenerating and growing. It could be considered the calm before the storm, the quiet before the swell. There is a natural timing for this process of silent regeneration. But what if we’re also facing resistance to the process? As if we can see ourselves getting caught in the birth canal. Do we wait it out, trust the flow, deepen into the darkness- or do we need a gentle tug to move through to the other side? And how do we know the difference of trusting and waiting from pushing through.

These are all big questions- and ones I don’t quite have the answers to- along with my mind trying to find a frame of reference for the internal experience (which can be a natural response to this place).

And so as I ponder this question for us all- I share some questions to think about.

-How do we know when a rebirth experience is happening?

-How long do we rest in the stillness?

-Is it ever too long? Or do we wait it out until mother nature spits us out the other side to reveal a new life we didn’t know was possible?

Rebirth cycles can often be an unnerving time because we don’t often know what actually IS on the other side. We are left to wonder- along with the realization that in order to move thorough we must let go.

This time requires ia huge leap of faith. And its only natural to ask ourselves- when do we need to get out of our own way and push through- and when do we simply wait it out?

When resistance is present, this is often a good sign. We actually need some friction in life to create forward momentum. In fact, sometimes, the effort and struggle involved in a rebirth equates to the expansive state we might reach on the other side. 

So how do we face this pause moment with grace- by recognizing that the process of rebirth and resistance are often the same.

But ah- how do we get out of this place, how do we move through it quickly, and how do we get through unscathed? These are the questions the mind will present- because, quite honestly, the process of both resistance and a rebirth can be downright uncomfortable.

As we move through the infinite space of unknowing, we learn to let go of all we once were in order to was to give birth to something entirely new. This is always happening on a micro-scale and sometimes on a macro-scale- and these are the times we often feel it. This is what movies are made of!

I suppose in these times, the best advice we can give ourselves is to honor the path and keep going. Honor the hesitation in the breath, the draw towards the void of emptiness, and recognize that forward movement is already happening. And so- we take the first step. This step. This breath. Forward.

I think it also helps to remember that these rebirth moments are not black and white or linear- they are a true honest emergence of creative potential- dying, beginning again- and this can be a messy process.

For those who are resonating with this emergent process in your own life right now- here are some additional fund ponderings to consider- a great opportunity to dust the journal off and do some reflection.

·       How can you allow this resistance to be a good thing, a named thing, and simply a process in of itself- (think of resistance as a birth “contraction”)

·       What can you vision for yourself that you want to see/experience on the other side? (this can help  with any fear arising)

·       What does your physical, mental, emotional body truly need right now to move through this place- think water, movement, patience, compassion, connection with others, meditation, and BREATH

·       And finally- can you list out all the things you are letting go of in this process as well as what you are birthing anew?

·       You might also want to actually just capture- what is it I’m actually feeling resistance to- (giving resistance a name can often set us free from the grip)

And then- hopefully- we can meet on the other side. Or maybe I’ll see you on the way. Waving big, smiling on, and reminding us both to breathe through it all.

Know you’re not alone in finding your way through the big and small changes within a life. We’re ALL doing this. One birth/death/rebirth cycle at a time.